Feeling the wrath of a narcissist can be devastating, and we’ve seen all kinds of relationships represented in the podcast, from parents to partners. But one lesser talked about environment where you may experience someone with narcissistic traits is the workplace. Your colleague might initially come off as charming, confident, and even inspiring. However, it doesn’t take long before their true colours start to show. If you’re dealing with someone who seems to have an inflated sense of self-worth and an uncanny ability to make everything about themselves, you might be dealing with a narcissist. Here’s how you can spot one at work:
1. They Always Seek Attention
A classic sign of a narcissist is their constant need for attention. Whether it’s during meetings, casual conversations, or even over email, they always find a way to make themselves the centre of attention. They might constantly interrupt others or steer every discussion back to their own achievements. If someone seems more interested in being noticed than in actually contributing to the team’s success, that’s a red flag.
2. They Have Impaired Empathy
Narcissists aren’t known for their empathy. In fact, they often struggle to understand or care about others’ feelings, or worse: they manipulate people and use their empathy against them (also known as motivational empathy). This can become glaringly obvious when they’re dismissive of their colleagues’ concerns or feelings, or when they bulldoze over others to get what they want. If someone at work is constantly disregarding others’ emotions or perspectives, it might be because they simply don’t care about anything other than their own needs.
3. They Can’t Handle Criticism
Narcissists have an extremely fragile ego, despite their outward confidence. If you’ve noticed someone at work who reacts poorly to even the slightest criticism, becoming defensive, angry, or even retaliatory, it could be a sign of narcissism. They might refuse to take responsibility for their mistakes, instead blaming others or making excuses, with their colleagues often the victims of their narcissistic rage. They’ll often go to great lengths to protect their image, even if it means throwing a colleague under the bus or embarking on a devastating smear campaign.
4. They Manipulate Others
Manipulation is a hallmark of narcissism. Narcissists will use others to achieve their own goals, whether that’s by spreading rumours, withholding information, or playing people against each other. They’re masters of manipulation, and often their actions can leave you feeling used or betrayed. If someone in your workplace is always playing games, pitting colleagues against each other, or making you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, you might be dealing with a narcissist. Look out for water-cooler gossip and two-faced behaviour.
5. They Have a Sense of Entitlement
Narcissists believe they deserve special treatment and will often act entitled. They might expect others to drop everything to help them, demand recognition for minimal effort, or believe they’re above the rules that everyone else has to follow. If someone at work acts as if the world owes them something, you could be looking at a narcissist. A prime example is believing they deserve a promotion just because, despite other people being more qualified or experienced than them. In fact, they tend to devalue the hard work and talents of their colleagues. An example would be “Lisa only got the promotion because she flutters her eyelashes!” or “back in my day you had to graft, now they let anyone in!”
Working alongside a narcissist can be emotionally draining and difficult, but the key is to maintain your boundaries, avoid getting drawn into their games, and focus on your own goals and well-being. Using techniques like grey-rocking, and making sure you stay calm in the face of their manipulation is one of the best ways of managing working alongside a narcissist. Focus on facts not feelings, stay strong in your boundaries and remember that you do not need to tolerate abuse at work. We spend so much of our time at work, and it’s essential that we can
