If you’ve listened to our podcast or you’re a member of our Facebook community, you’ll have seen how much we love hearing all about your Weekly Wins! For those of us that have weathered the storm of narcissistic or emotional abuse, you might find yourself struggling to recognise your own progress. It’s all too easy to focus on the mountain ahead rather than the steps you’ve already climbed. But here’s the thing: those small steps, those tiny victories, are absolutely worth celebrating. In fact, they’re not just worth celebrating—they’re essential to your healing journey.

Why Small Victories Matter

When you’ve spent years having your achievements minimised or ignored, it can feel strange to pat yourself on the back for what might seem like mundane tasks. Perhaps you finally sent that email you’ve been dreading, or you managed to say ‘no’ to an unreasonable request. These might not seem like earth-shattering events, but for survivors, they represent huge milestones on the path to recovery.

Celebrating these small victories serves several purposes:

1. It rewires your brain: By acknowledging your achievements, you’re creating new, positive neural pathways. This helps counteract the negative self-talk that abuse often instils.
2. It builds momentum: Each small win gives you the confidence to tackle bigger challenges. It’s like climbing a ladder—each rung gets you closer to the top.
3. It helps you reclaim your narrative: Abusers often try to control how you see yourself through gaslighting and manipulation. By celebrating your victories, you’re taking back control of your own story.
4. It cultivates self-compassion: Learning to be kind to yourself is a critical part of healing. Although it may not feel significant at the time, celebrating small victories is a form of self-care and self-love.

It’s important to acknowledge that these things won’t be quick and they will look different for everyone. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day – but small victories are important in the context of wider change and identity building.

How to Celebrate Small Victories

Celebrating doesn’t have to mean throwing a party (although if that’s your style, go for it!). It can be as simple as:

• Taking a moment to acknowledge your achievement
• Writing it down in a ‘victory journal’
• Sharing it with a trusted friend or support group
• Treating yourself to something you enjoy, like a favourite tea or a relaxing bath.

Remember, what counts as a victory is personal to you. There’s no universal measure—if it feels like a win to you, then it is one.

The Ripple Effect

As you practice celebrating small victories, you might notice a shift in your outlook. You’ll start to spot more opportunities for celebration, creating a positive feedback loop. This doesn’t mean ignoring the challenges you still face, and it doesn’t mean that these challenges will magically disapper, but rather it aims to balance them with recognition of your progress.

So, the next time you catch yourself thinking “it’s not a big deal”, pause. Take a breath. And remind yourself that every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory worth celebrating. You’ve come so far already—and that, in itself, is something to be immensely proud of. And if you ever want someone to celebrate your Wins with you, we’re here!